I'm kind of a big deal...

Friday, September 28, 2012

Girl, where have you been???

Hi Everyone!

Over a month (wow!) has elapsed since my last post and I want to apologize for being an absentee blogger. I've been experienceing a lot of flux in my life as of late and wanted to fill you in on what's been going on with me. As I mentioned in a previous post, I now have a new job which I am super excited about! I am a project manager for a hospital system outside of Boston and am working on things that I am really passionate about. Namely, patient-centered medical home development which is essentially coordinating care in a way that improves quality of care, improves health outcomes, and reduces cost. I'm working with some serious visionaries who all want to turn the current healthcare system upside down (hooray for troublemakers!). I've also been helping my son adjust to kindergarten which has been a bit of a challenge. He is in his 3rd week of school and is doing great for the most part. Despite the strides that he has made, I've had to contend with the negative treatment he has received from his peers and the consequences that this has had on his psyche. It's not easy to hear your six-year old say "I don't have friends" or "No one likes me at school" day in and day out. It's difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that this is about the age where social boundaries are established and "different-ness" is mostly received with a wary and fearful eye. Needless to say, I've been doing a lot of hugging and pep-talking.

My perception of my self has also shifted in the past several weeks. The stress from the transition between jobs and worrying about my son caused me to gain several pounds. I was also faced with the anxiety-inducing fact that my tenants were moving out and that soon I would have to pony up 100% of my mortgage. I couldn't stop eating. I still can't. My weight gain has resulted in feelings of inadequacy and failure and just general ugliness (inside and out). So what am I doing about my stankitude (stank+attitude)? I'm trying to put everything in perspective. Achieving perspective has been a journey in and of itself. It's hard for me to celebrate my wins when in my mind, my losses/faults/flaws are so glaring to the point of being palpable. I guess talking about my feelings is the first step though right?

Since I'm not wanting this post to be so depressing, I wanted to give you the heads up of a guest post coming your way soon by my bestie from another teste--Rosa. You have Rosa to thank for my post today because she's been in my ear like: "Damn son, what's up with your blog?". I've been so caught up with things goiug on in my life that I have completely ignored one of my biggest support systems--you all! But seriously, I thank all of you for sticking with me this whole time and showing me love--it's appreciated and means more to me than you will ever know...<3

On another note, have you seen the pro-Bama video from Samuel L. Jackson? Whatever your political leanings there is no denying how funny this is.  What makes me chuckle is how almost every movie he's been in contains the phrase "and I hope you burn in hell!" or some iteration there of. The vid is below if you want a good laugh (or at the very least, a  pronounced smirk). Please note that there is cursing and one sexually suggestive scene so view with caution. Shout out to my girl Ruthie for sending this my way!